


a fork that leads nowhere

by littlescallion



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Gen, M/M, Platonic Relationships, They're adults, no funny business i swear, romantic dilemma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 08:19:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16425791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlescallion/pseuds/littlescallion
Summary: About Lee Felix and the two men in his life.Or, a very typical yet atypical romcom dilemma (But Felix hates romcoms so he's utterly clueless)





	a fork that leads nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> hooray to littlescallion's debut fic in the sk fandom in ao3 *clapclapclap*  
> i've been playing with this idea for MONTHS but never actually got to write it because i couldn't find the characters that fit the roles (screw jjp and their unbeatable soulmate bond smh) and even all the way to the end i wasn't sure if i want to use kids to portray this kind of emotional dilemma  
> i was ~conflicted~ but yolo amirite  
> besides it's not like there's anything sketchy in this story, it's just felix being confused  
> anyways i wrote the whole thing in one sitting and couldn't bother to proofread so please pardon my mistakes  
> much love from your friendly neighborhood vegetable <3

_About Lee Felix and the two men in his life_

At twenty two years old, Felix thought it was way too early to start thinking about love.

His friends ridiculed him for it, of course. Not only his friends, even his extended family, and his own _parents_. For heaven’s sake. It’s the 21 st century, yet sometimes Felix still felt like he was living in the 1800s, where being unmarried above age 15 was a good reason to get scorned.

The only people in his life who never did ridicule him for that was his so-called best friends or brothers from another mother, as some people liked to dub them. Felix had been friends with Seo Changbin and Hwang Hyunjin for as long as he remembered. Or perhaps that was only because Felix had a terrible memory. Felix and Changbin started being friends in fourth grade, when Felix – who hated talking to people due to his thick Australian accent always making him the butt of the joke – decided to befriend the scrawny kid with glasses too large for his small face. The scrawny kid, Changbin, was a full year and a month older than Felix, due to the latter jumping up a grade when he moved from Australia to Korea. Within a few months of talking to each other, Felix and Changbin found a huge array of things they were equally interested in, and by the time they graduated elementary school, they were practically inseparable.

And then came Hyunjin.

The three of them went to the same junior high school and were placed in the same class – a class for the gifted kids, or so the parents said in hushed whispers during PTA meetings. They couldn’t care less about the titles, though, as despite being placed in a class filled with – supposedly – kids as unique as they were, Felix and Changbin still found it difficult to fit in. Changbin was smart, nearly a genius, and it made things slightly easier for him to blend in among the kids who would crowd around him daily, waiting for him to finish another complex mathematical equation as if it was a freak show. On the other side, Felix was a genius in his own way – but it was his exact ingenuity that made it harder for him to fit in. He still spoke in awkward Korean with the unmistakable Australian accent, and for the last few months, he had taken a certain liking in studying French. The mix of three languages he spoke in was alien to the other kids, and they slowly drifted away from him, pointing fingers at him but quickly acting like nothing was wrong when adults were looking.

And then there was Hyunjin – innocent young Hyunjin with too much energy packed in his small stature. Like Changbin, he was a genius; it took him minutes to learn something new related to computer software and programs, and the kids liked him until they found out that Hyunjin’s thoughts moved too fast. His limbs raced to match the speed of his mind and he knocked over things when he moved, sometimes bumping against others too hard or breaking things he wasn’t supposed to touch. Soon after, he was abandoned. The pointing fingers now attacked him, saying that he was a troublemaker.

Maybe it was fate saving them from cruel years in their early teens, because one thing led to another and the three outcasts found solace in each other.

It wasn’t so bad now that they were adults, and they went from socially awkward kids to functioning members of society with respectable positions. Changbin went to med school after graduating high school and his hard work paid off. He easily passed all of his exams and found internship in a good hospital under a well-respected specialist. Soon enough and he would be able to pick any hospital to work in or even build his own clinic, setting himself into a stable future.

Hyunjin, the ever adventurous personality, stumbled into a fairly rough obstacle upon graduation. Nevertheless, he managed to get himself into what possibly was one of the most desired universities in South Korea, pursuing the exact dream he had been holding since junior high –software engineering. He graduated quickly with flying colors and decided to stick himself right in the heart of Seoul, the capital of technological development. It was a high-tension, competitive kind of life, yet somehow it suits him.

Among the three, perhaps, Felix himself was the one who dragged his future the most. From failing to get into the major he had desperately wanted, to falling into mild depression in his final year of university, stumbling into a murky future that treads between stability and passion. But fate loved him, his parents loved him, and Felix loved himself enough not to let himself settle into a future he never wanted. He was given a second chance and Felix immediately jumped into it, frantically grasping the opportunity to regain his life. At twenty-two, Felix was a grad student, slowly building his path back to the dream of adulthood he once envisioned.

With future slowly falling into place, came the thoughts about love.

Felix had dismissed the idea of finding ‘the one’ in almost every conversation, defending himself with the fact that he wasn’t even halfway through building his future. With coursework, thesis, and the pressure to find a job trailing behind him, love was all the way down in his priority list. But everyone he talked with, once learning about his preferences and friendship history, had been quick to point out a seemingly obvious ‘solution’: he had best friends, did he not?

It was unfortunate for Felix that everyone he talked with seemed to have learned their solutions from American romcoms: when a man and woman (or two men, two women, whatever) are best friends, they’re bound to fall in love sooner or later. Even if they had been dating others, or even getting engaged or married, at the end of the day they’ll find out that the love they had been looking for was none other than their best friend. It was the foolproof method of finding love in almost every basic romcom movie.

The first few times, Felix tried to defend himself by stating that he had _two_ best friends instead of one, but it wasn’t so long before things backfired – _bad._

Everyone – from his casual friends to close confidant to cousins and uncles/aunts, and even his own _parents_ (again, for Heaven’s sake) – took it upon themselves to find out which one between the two is a better match for Felix.

It was troublesome as it is, and Felix found himself in a sticky situation when he slowly realized that everyone’s judgment was an exact opposite of what his own heart said.

To clarify, Felix had never thought of dating either of his best friends before. Well, it wasn’t as if he had _never ever_ thought about it before – after all, they had been friends for years and there were always people suggesting a loveline among them. But it was all in good humor for him, knowing full well that both Changbin and Hyunjin were romantically active during their uni years while Felix remained happily single. And Felix didn’t particularly enjoy romcoms, so he never understood how a person’s affection towards their friends could automatically switch from platonic to romantic as if on cue.

But now he was an adult – a full-fledged adult, despite his wishes to remain young at heart – and he started to consider his own love life. It was hard not to, especially when it was all everyone talked about around him. Like his parents said – it didn’t have to automatically become a top priority, but it would be good if he would just start giving it a little thought.

And think about it he did. He started going out more, finding friends in his quest to find a job, wondering if his Romeo is somewhere out there. The Ketut to his Rhonda. The buttered toast to his Vegemite.

_(Hyunjin first brought up those lame jokes in high school – and Felix never stopped hating him for it, though deep inside he had to admit that it was slightly funny)_

So far, he hadn’t been lucky – and after a few particular conversations, the idea of ending up with one of his best friends came back to him.

Changbin and Hyunjin’s respective love stories weren’t that much better than Felix’s own, if he had to say. Changbin’s parents kept trying to introduce him to sons and daughters of their colleagues, persuading him to get married. _What are you waiting for anyway? Your future is settled_ , they told him. Being the good son that he was, Changbin went to each and every single one of the blind dates his parents arranged, and respectfully turned them down. _It’s a little early_ , he told them, _but I would be the happiest if we could remain in close friendship_. Total bull, Hyunjin and Felix unanimously agreed when the oldest male relayed the story. They both know that the prospect of finding an eternal sweetheart wasn’t the top priority of Changbin’s life, for now at least.

Hyunjin’s life was a little different, if not the total opposite, of Changbin’s. Up until a few months ago, he was in a relationship with a beautiful young man a couple years his senior. They had been colleagues working for the same firm until he left, Hyunjin following suit not too long after. Being in the same field gave a lot of things in common and a strong sense of belonging between them. They were mature, in love, and ready to take things up a notch – only the idea of their relationship didn’t seem to sit too well with Hyunjin’s parents. They opposed the relationship in the subtlest way. Felix didn’t even know how long the relationship lasted after that – he never dared to ask.

Both of his best friends had bright futures ahead of them, with open ended love stories, and no one seemed to understand why Felix wasn’t dating any of them by now.

To be more precise, they all wondered why Felix wasn’t dating _Changbin_.

Anyone who knew Changbin and Felix in their youth knew how compatible they were with each other. They had a lot of things in common, and Changbin’s calm predisposition seemed to be a perfect balance to Felix’s random outbursts of emotion. Their parents were already well-acquainted with each other too, being a result of a longtime friendship that transcended time and place. It was not to say that Hyunjin wasn’t a perfect match for them, but him coming into the friendship a little later, coupled with the fact that he was in several relationship during school days while Changbin and Felix remained single, put him out of consideration to be in a relationship with Felix. Especially because one of his earliest boyrfriends was a classmate who relentlessly bullied Felix under peer pressure. One time, he and his gang of friends tried to turn Hyunjin away from Felix, claiming that it’s not nice for a boy in a relationship to be ‘best friends’ with another boy like that.

(At any rate, the pair broke up several months into the relationship and Hyunjin returned to Felix and Changbin, safe and sound. Felix went to high school with Hyunjin’s ex and they somewhat made up.)

((Or did they? Sometimes, Felix still felt like the bullying issue was never properly resolved – but he dismissed it as him being oversensitive))

Well, things were once again different now that they were adults. Felix met more people, gained a new set of friends, and actually talked about relationships with his friends and family seriously instead of jokingly. When relatives asked him whether he had a lover, it wasn’t a childish teasing but a serious question. Everything felt different and unfamiliar and even slightly wrong – especially because Felix was forced to think seriously about the prospect of dating one of his best friends now.

And it became a problem.

Because everyone thought Changbin would be a perfect match for Felix.

But Felix liked Hyunjin.

No, scratch that. Felix wasn’t _sure_. He felt some attraction towards Hyunjin, yes, but then again who wouldn’t? Hyunjin was good-looking, the small stature from his youth all gone and replaced by a powerful build, muscles forming through puberty and years of exercise. He was smart, borderline a genius, and he had a respectable job with endless opportunities for self-development. He was kind and caring with an open mind, and responsible towards everything and everyone under his wings. The only flaw Felix would say about Hyunjin was how the latter’s penchant for spontaneity had resulted in several rash decisions.

But then again, Felix knew Hyunjin when he was a thirteen year old leaping off the second story balcony during an intense game of frisbee. Compared to _that_ , he’d say that Hyunjin’s spontaneous decisions had been getting better.

On the other side of the spectrum, there was Changbin – the best friend with four extra years of friendship and knowing each other. Changbin was everything that Hyunjin also was – the genius, the future, the attitude, the looks. In terms of maturity, he was light years ahead. Not to mention that his job required him to literally be in contact with people the entire time, as opposed to Hyunjin’s private work environment. His social aptitude would be a perfect balance to Felix’s lack of forte in that department.

Nonetheless, Felix realized that when people who were close to him – like his parents of favorite cousins – talk about Changbin and Hyunjin, they did so with _adolescent_ Changbin and Hyunjin in mind. They had images of Changbin and Hyunjin back when Felix first introduced them, which was well over ten years ago. How many things had changed since then, again? Back in the days, Changbin had always been mature and Hyunjin was the wild child, but their teenager days were long gone and the dawn of adulthood had been approaching. Traces of childlike personalities remained, except that they were a lot more stable now. A lot more careful. And perhaps that was the one thing Felix could blame for his attraction towards Hyunjin.

Changbin was stability and Hyunjin was challenge. Changbin was a fortress, but Hyunjin was adventure.

Changbin’s life was something one would go to if one wants time to slow down around them. Living with Changbin was living in a steady pace, with plenty of time to smell flowers. The hands of the clock moved in harmony and you had all the time in the world to notice, and love, every single thing down to the tiniest detail. Hyunjin’s life was one where things never stopped changing. Close your eyes for one second and the world would’ve shifted so much that you won’t recognize them when your eyes snap open. Living with Hyunjin was an endless race filled with satisfaction of conjuring your biggest challenges.

Now Felix had one question for himself – was he a lover of stability, with rows and rows of small but constant happiness, or did he want every emotion to be in the extreme ends of the spectrum?

He had dreamed of a life where everything was certain, where he wouldn’t have to go to sleep every night fearing and second guessing himself. But if he had truly desired the simple life, he would’ve settled long ago. He wouldn’t have taken the challenge of completely rearranging the path of his future. Yet even with the knowledge that he was indeed quite adventurous, he still longed for a life without uncertainties.

He knew that logic wouldn’t work on love and he had to let his heart answer instead of forcing his mind to think, but his thoughts were loud. He spent his days wondering, wondering, and wondering, and he couldn’t go to sleep leaving the questions unanswered.

Tonight, once again, he lay awake in his bed praying for a miraculous clarity.

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like walking on thin ice posting this fanfic but what has been done is done.  
> uh come yell at me on twitter or anything i guess...? now excuse me while i yeet myself over the nearest cliff


End file.
